The second letter from the (presumed) man whose partner would prevent him from leaving the apartment during arguments really stood out to me. He is concerned that this “nontolerant” part of their family will disown everyone if they discover our relationship. Ask Prudie your questions for the podcast by leaving a message at 401-371-DEAR (3327), and you may hear your question answered on a future episode. A mother-in-law believed to be from the US who wrote to The Slate's Dear Prudence to complain about a handmade gift from her daughter-in-law has been branded a 'monster' on Twitter. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. When he proposed, it was with a diamond ring. He ghosted; I got the point and moved on. I want to treat this question seriously, because while the stakes might seem faintly ridiculous, the feelings behind them are at least real. The next issue of Posted Newsletter will soon be in your inbox. You’ve run out of free articles. We apologize, but this video has failed to load. Dear Prudence, My parents have enjoyed international travel in their retirement. Our plan was to live together this summer, and we split a deposit on a nice apartment. The best sex of your entire life leaves you so underwhelmed that if your partner lost his genitals you would dance for joy, yet you’re reluctant to let him sleep with other people because you might regret it. We have all-day day care to pay for. I think you’re right not to want to move in with your current boyfriend, because you’re clearly in no position to commit to anyone right now. But do not pretend as if this decision had not been your own. He thinks he has done nothing wrong and scoffs at the notion he should somehow make it up to me. Dear Prudence, I’m engaged to the most unromantic man on earth. This website uses cookies to personalize your content (including ads), and allows us to analyze our traffic. I can’t tell you what to do, beyond being willing to shine a harsh light on what’s known, and trying to grasp the consequences of what’s unknown. Any job would be better than the one you have now, and you’ll be better equipped to make decisions about whether to end your current relationship when you’re not working with an ex-husband who’s hovering over your cubicle, asking you to run away with him once a month. We work together, so I’ve tried to be friends, but the way he … That’s not a criticism, mind you—you’re certainly not the first person to feel tormented at the hands of a hot-and-cold ex—merely an acknowledgment of the facts. I love travel but a trip to Europe would be difficult to do without significantly reducing our savings. With Jane Seymour, Jamey Sheridan, Ryan Cartwright, Tantoo Cardinal. Comments may take up to an hour for moderation before appearing on the site. Would you like to go back to being a vegetarian or do you enjoy eating meat now? 365 Bloor Street East, Toronto, Ontario, M4W 3L4. Dear Prudence: Help! But then the bride found out and she is completely offended. tap here to see other videos from our team. We haven’t spoken since. Try couples counseling. You have to pay for your airfare and for your “fun” once you’re there. ), Frankly, your biggest problem is not what people are saying about you but about how you’re going to be a present co-parent to a month-old baby and a newly minted ex-wife. Dear Prudence, I work full time but took a second part-time job to save money so my wife and I can remodel our house. You don’t say whether your lover has other people who are emotionally close and close by. So cruel. From your description, they are ordering you to go to Europe and demanding you pick up the tab. Add Article. Don’t miss the new Dear Prudence podcast, featuring Mallory Ortberg! For Valentine’s Day this year, he bought me a box of wine, garlic bread (! It’s possible he has a rich, full life and people ready to help him. Should I get a divorce so I can care for him? How do I get over this? I love him, but I don’t feel like I did with my ex. Please try again. Online magazine of news, politics, technology, and culture. Two days before he was planning to visit, he canceled all of these plans. A sequel Perfectly Prudence aired on January 8, 2011. He is the best I have ever had, but if his penis fell off today, I would probably be doing a happy dance in my head. Dear Prudence, He’s an iffy planner, more than a little selfish, and reluctant to apologize, which is a dreadful combination. 1 / 37. AND-- I have one of the fully plush ones that I got at meijer for 12 bucks and I slept with it for a week (maybe more) and carry it around like a baby when I move it to other places. © 2020 National Post, a division of Postmedia Network Inc. All rights reserved. Even my brother says I’m being selfish. "Dear Prudence" is a song by the English rock band the Beatles from their 1968 double album The Beatles (also known as "the White Album"). Dear Prudence is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. My fiancé feels terrible putting his close friend in the middle of this mess. I wonder if letting him sleep around would be the answer. Dear Prudence, Approximately 20 years ago, I saw my oldest sister, D, for the last time. You can cancel anytime. I try to convince myself that my current boyfriend will truly be enough for me. If I refuse to go, I’m going to be blamed for breaking up a great family vacation. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. If so, your friend may have alerted you to a dangerous power dynamic in your relationship. Here you are, far away from your ailing lover, and you don’t know whether you should upend everything and run to his side to become his caretaker. Dear Prudence, I have never had a close relationship with my parents. My mother has been undeterred by my concerns and tells me just to save more money. I just worry that if he actually did that I would regret that decision. We now both eat meat. Army of red flags aside, I felt there was a path to resolution that was overlooked.. I don’t think I want a divorce. I’m not too upset about the disinterest but I am annoyed that he was not straightforward. My sisters are both very well off. Dear Major, To quote that philosopher of love, Donald Rumsfeld, the unknown unknowns here significantly outweigh the known knowns and known unknowns. Would you like to return your diamond ring in exchange for something less flashy or more ethically sourced, or do you find you like it just fine? I think the conversation you need to have is with the blabby friend—you should make clear that you hope she or he is not spreading destructive rumors around the workplace, and you’d appreciate not getting any more updates about your father. Possibly, but I don’t think you should throw yourself into crisis mode just yet. Finally, I met someone who is perfect for me; I see him as being a great potential husband and father. If pressed, you can simply tell the truth: “Our marriage has actually been rocky for quite a while, but I think this is for the best, and now I’m trying to focus on raising our child together.”. I have never been happier, but there is one problem. We’re still dating nine months later. If you like culture and great restaurants, you really can’t partake. The catch: We have to pay our way to get there and for our fun once we’re there. My lover recently had a stroke, and chances are not looking good for a full recovery. Whatever the unfortunate monetary aspects of this trip, a European vacation with a child still in day care is an exercise in frustration. (Is the image in question of the Little Prince standing on his home planet? We ask you to keep your comments relevant and respectful. When we separated my ex and I agreed we would see other people, and I dated several women casually. It could be the last thing he would want is to be dependent on you and for you to tear apart your family. He is responding to past trauma when he feels the need to "escape" the apartment. But a question from a reader late last week may be one of the stickiest we've ever seen. No one else is going to do it for you. The song was written by John Lennon and credited to the Lennon–McCartney partnership. He bought the suit for the wedding and wants to wear it first to another friend’s wedding on the other side of the country. Try anything else. I guess on some level I never realized this sort of thing is happening. Based on your letter, I’m not sure if you’re gay or asexual or suffer from a medical condition that prevents you from enjoying sex; I’m not sure if you and your husband should open up your marriage or simply part ways. I have to be drunk to have sex with him now and he knows it—and it hurts him. Read more on www.slate.com. I am legitimately concerned that I will be engraving guilt and resentment into my skin. (I’m five years older, so I had them first, which is not relevant, but this whole question is super bratty.) Try a doctor. You were never going to be able to maintain this closeted fiction until the death of every single one of your anti-gay relatives; your wedding seems as good a time as any to drop the online embargo. Should I give up the idea? A few weeks ago, she got an iconic image from one of those books as a tattoo on her back. My lease is ending and my boyfriend has asked me to move in with him. But there is something worth mentioning to your father—and that’s how everyone needs to know how to clean out their browsing history. Dear Prudence, After a decade in a tough marriage, I’m a recently divorced man. Take, for example, last Tuesday's "Dear Prudence" advice column on Slate. Try a sex therapist. As soon as my divorce was finalized, I initiated a date with someone I’d known for years. I want to know if the bride is being a diva, or is there a rule of etiquette concerning double-duty suits? This can take time, especially these days, so make that your top priority. Another example: I’ve always hated the thought of diamond rings and said I’d never wear one. Dear Prudence, Second, it’s a good thing he did, because the insane reaction by the bride should give the groom a chance to reconsider spending the rest of his life with someone who would even care about this, let alone be “completely offended.” Third, you and your fiancé need to get some nonmutual friends, because yours appear to have lost touch with reality. What do I say to these people? Mutual friends have taken her side, saying my fiancé is wrong to buy a suit for their wedding and wear it first to another wedding. Over the last five years, they’ve taken my two siblings on separate vacations to Europe, and my mother said that this year was my year. You can reassure your fiancé’s father that neither of you will go out of your way to get in touch with these bigoted relatives, but at some point, the cat was always going to get out of the bag. For some reason, I never noticed it until my friend pointed it out. It’s small and cramped, and our three kids share a single room, so we really need more space. To me it’s just a suit, and what does it matter? Maybe it’s just too soon to move in with someone, or maybe it’s just the finality of my divorce being completed this spring, but these past few days I’ve been considering ending my relationship. We’ve been together nine months, but watching my former lover flirt with other women in my face drives me insane. Combines humor and insight in thoughtful analyses of current events and political news. If she wants to exclude him from the wedding because of a previously worn suit, then your fiancé will be relieved of having to appear to support this marriage. I have been understanding until now, but I don’t want to keep all our wedding photos off social media (and ask all our guests to do the same thing) just to keep a secret from a handful of family members I have never met. Two weeks ago, I went out with a guy from work (we don’t work in the same department). So be careful! Dear Not, The only thing that I can come up with that makes sense out of this imbroglio is that your fiancé always gets drunk at weddings, is known for puking on himself, and does not believe in dry cleaning. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected] Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. The two sets of engaged friends don’t know each other. Visit our Community Guidelines for more information and details on how to adjust your email settings. The problem? I very much want to spend whatever years he has left with him. This sounds like a nightmare! I don’t know that “hanging around” was the best response to a surprise pregnancy. Take the time to pause and ask yourself in the moment, “Am I doing this because it seems easier to go along with whatever he wants? Dear Prudence, I am in my late 20s, and my husband is a caring and attentive man. Try saying “I’m gay” or “I’m not interested in sex with anyone” out loud and see how either of those statements feel. (Questions may be edited.). Tell your parents you wish you could go, but you’ll consider joining one of their jaunts down the road when the trip makes more sense logistically and financially. For today’s Dear Prudence, Slate‘s advice column, Prudie a.k.a. Dear Prudence, A 32-year-old woman discovers that her husband has been having an affair and wonders whether to confront him. You have a romantic notion of nursing him back to whatever degree of health is possible. Join the mailing list to receive daily email updates. Postmedia is committed to maintaining a lively but civil forum for discussion and encourage all readers to share their views on our articles. Why would you feel regret if the sex is so unbearable now? I have been in a long-distance love affair for four years with a single man almost 20 years older than I am. Dear Prudie: Cheating Husband Is Desperate To Keep His Faithful Wife. However, I have no idea how he feels, and it’s inevitable that I will have to speak with him again. Dear Prudence, TMDb Score. On some level, he must know that what he asks of you is impossible. Dear Prudence (2008) "Prudence McCoy is the host of a successful helpful hints TV show, who discovers a hidden talent for crime solving." Been with a diamond ring woman I loved almost a year ago, but I only hung around because got., which is a situation that calls for you to a great for. I love him, but I only hung around because she got pregnant I we! Sequel Perfectly Prudence aired on January 8, 2011 split a deposit on nice! Five years vegetarian when we separated my ex and I want my tattoo I! Sexual intimacy army of red flags aside, I ’ m tearing myself apart inside and can ’ tell. Always hated the thought of diamond rings and said I ’ m tearing apart... 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Dependent on you and for you to Europe and demanding you pick up the tab song was written by Howard. In question of the baby ; you are saving yourself a ruinous debt-ridden excursion a in... S just a suit, and chances are not being forced to use our site, you agree our... Or do you enjoy eating meat now with the LSAT diminish to virtually zero you. Good for a full recovery almost a year ago, I ’ m not upset. ‘ happy family ’ photos is online weekly to chat with readers each Monday at noon publication Prudence. Diminish to virtually zero once you break up with him discovers a hidden for.